Save the Minors

Editorial:-
As if the madness of poll-related violence was not enough to dampen moods, the weekend also brought in the horror of minors falling victim to sexual abuse. Neither trend reflects too well on the Sikkimese society because they both reveal not only a disturbing lack of empathy but also a worrying degree of indifference. Unfortunately, while political violence is seasonal and has only ten days left for this cycle of 5 years [and perhaps another spike after counting day], the abuse of children is a permanent fixture, making headlines occasionally, but preying on children constantly. The demented predators of children have always been around, hunting for opportunities and preying on the innocent. In the latest set of three such assaults, in two, the perpetrator was known to the victims in an equation that would normally equate as safe company. In one instance, the predator was an uncle, and the second, the father of a friend. It is invariable such a situation which puts the young in harm’s way. Parents and guardians are normally careful around strangers and routinely coach kids to avoid strangers. And as they strive to protect their children from the stranger, the pedophile in their immediate circle attacks. This is not about making parents of young children paranoid, but some basic rules need to be set. Children should be encouraged to speak up and share and clearly explained on what kind of conduct by their elders, including uncles, is an absolute no-no and needs to brought to the attention of the parents. This part is actually easy, because children trust their elders implicitly and will report if encouraged to do so. It is in how the elders handle the complaint that the minors are compromised. There have been too many cases where the family has conspired to keep the incident [of abuse of minors by a relative] under wraps. Not only does such a “cover-up” run the risk of permanently scarring the victim emotionally and mentally, it also puts more children at harm. Every time child abuse is allowed to go unreported, another victim is created and from there on, apart from the pedophile, every other person who allowed the cover-up is also to be blamed and should be counted among the accused for every subsequent abuse. What is also unfortunate about such ‘compromises’ is that it denies the victim proper healing. Parents, at the end of the day, have an important role in helping their child recover from sexual abuse. Children need ongoing support, belief and protection from parents. The most important message to get across to your child is that you do not blame them for the abuse. Parents also need care and support during a very difficult time. When the society encourages families to solve such situations at their own levels and not make a ‘case’ out of it, it shuts the door on all such therapeutic exercises as well.