Editorial: Stop Ignoring Domestic Violence

A lady was allegedly beaten to death in a rare form of domestic violence in West Sikkim recently. Rare, not because domestic violence is uncommon in Sikkim, but because, in this case, the accused is also a woman. Readers will also recall that a few months ago a housewife was found dead at home in Gangtok after a night of beating by her husband. There has also been a case of domestic abuse leading to suicide [alleged as a murder cover-up by the victim’s brother] in one of the more crowded residential areas of Gangtok. All of these in the recent months. In the latest case from West Sikkim, the cycle of violence, as per the panchayat representative who filed the police complaint, started around 2 months ago. It is also safe to assume that in the Gangtok incidents as well, the fatal beating was not the first time that the wife suffered violence. It is obvious that in all cases, neighbours and the elders of the society ignored the ugliness by convincing themselves that they had no ‘business’ getting involved because it was a ‘family matter’. This hesitation to engage has already claimed two lives in recent months and continues to scar too many more. It is time that the government and the people collaborated to save women from abusive relationships. But domestic violence unfortunately remains blindsided in Sikkim’s over-exuberance to claim that women in Sikkim are empowered and that there is no sexual discrimination here. While there can be no denying that at the government policy initiative level, women have been empowered in Sikkim, the same cannot be said for the social engagement on gender issues. While women in Sikkim are not denied opportunities or equality at the policy level, the same cannot be said about how the society at large responds to gender issues and nowhere is it more disturbing than in the society’s continuing disregard of women in distress. Women who stand up and say enough and seek justice and rescue might receive it, but that is an engagement with the State. Not all women in distress seek out help, their trauma and fear overpowering them. But the signs are always obvious and the beatings and abuse rarely quiet. At least the immediate neighbours and close friends are in the know, and while some might even offer comfort and advice, no one steps up to lodge an official complaint. This response is not unique to Sikkim and domestic violence is overlooked, excused and denied across the world. But that does not make it acceptable. It is important that organisations responsible for women’s welfare and empowerment reach out wider awareness on where people can lodge complaints of domestic violence. Complaints, whether from the victim or anonymous, should fetch immediate response and the concerned agencies in turn should have trained counsellors and access to police assistance to reach the victims and rescue them. There are many theories on why domestic violence is so common and what factors trigger it. One of these explanations looks at external factors in the offender’s environment, such as family structure, stress and social learning. When domestic violence is ignored by everyone even when it is obvious, the perpetrator sees it as an endorsement and continues with the deviance. By putting in place systems which proactively encourage people not to ignore this abomination, at least one causative factor would have been addressed. Agreed, domestic violence is too widespread and complicated to offer any easy solutions, but a start has to be made somewhere and what is suggested above is as a good a place to begin as any.