Editorial

Too Many Suicides, Too Little Concern
A death affects everyone. The trauma travels through family members, friends, colleagues/ classmates, neighbours. The loss is permanent, and hence the grieving is long. When a death is by suicide, confusion and guilt, even among those who knew the victim only at a very casual level, are added to the already difficult emotion of grief.
When the life lost is young, the situation grows extremely complex and a nagging conscience begins gnawing minds already grappling with shock and sorrow and returning to thoughts of whether something could have been differently, whether the suicide could have been prevented... Sikkim has a serious problem staring it in the face with the number of lives it is losing to suicides. The last week was especially bad – two cousins, both still in their teens, committed suicide together in a remote West Sikkim village and in East district, two teens committed suicide in separate incidents. All of them were girls aged between 13 to 18. The social challenge posed by suicides has been flagged often for Sikkim, and although it is now universally accepted as a major problem, nothing is being done to address it. Organisations which one would turn to – the Government for a policy commitment to confront the problem, the healthcare sector for the professional intervention required and social and people’s organisations to provide the involvement and outreach required – have remained unmoved. Unmoved might be too strong a word to describe the response, the ennui is perhaps because none of these organisations know what to do. This is a worrying situation and the time is now urgent for one of these groups to take a leadership role in talking about the problem more forcefully and with its proactive engagement, inspire others to join forces and help save lives.
Suicides in Sikkim are not limited to any specific age-group, but the last week has been especially disturbing in the recklessness with which lives which had not even grown up were allowed to self-destruct. The reasons behind a teen suicides or attempted suicide are complex. Although suicide is relatively rare among children, the rate of suicides among them in Sikkim is noticeably worrying. It can be safely contended that suicide is a leading cause of death among 13 to 19 year olds, surpassed perhaps only by accidents. Everyone knows how confusing the teen years can be - caught in that grey area between childhood and adulthood. There’s pressure to fit in socially, to perform academically, and to act responsibly. There’s the awakening of sexual feelings, a growing self-identity, and a need for independence which often conflicts with the rules and expectations set by others. This everyone accepts, and many agree as being one of the triggers pushing the young into a suicidal vortex. But in accepting this, we ignore the fact that much as this period can be of great confusion and anxiety, it is also one of tremendous possibility and optimism. A teen, provided with an adequate support network of friends, family, religious affiliations, peer groups, or extracurricular activities may find an outlet to deal with everyday frustrations. But many teens don’t believe they have that, and feel disconnected and isolated from family and friends. These teens are at increased risk for suicide. And if one looks around Sikkim, one will have to accept that such feelings are not necessarily misplaced. Any attempt at curtailing suicides among the young in Sikkim will have to begin by reinforcing the support system they need, by treating them with more respect and addressing, with genuine concern, their requirements.
Suicidal tendencies don’t always require medical expertise to detect. Depression and other mental disorders, feelings of worthlessness, signs of abuse and other warning signs manifest rather clearly. What is missing, is perhaps the correct response. Family and friends, the first to notice these signals, perhaps prefer to ignore them because it is a difficult situation to address and they find themselves at a loss on how to respond. Maybe they will seek out help and counselling if they were made to understand how serious the problem is. Although it is now widely accepted in Sikkim that too many suicides are taking place, individual realisation of how people around them could also take that route has not yet dawned. Suicides are still looked at from a sanitised distance of it could not happen us. Any attempt at generating wider awareness and involvement on curtailing suicides has to begin by sharing case studies of how apparently “normal” children from “normal” families have also ended their lives. The social support required to save lives will perhaps then reinforce itself better. It is also true that even people worried by warning signs they notice, don’t know how they can help. That is where governmental and non-governmental organisations can take a leading role. It is important to bear in mind that awareness is required not only to highlight suicides as a problem, but also in equipping the first-responders to panic signs – friends and family – on what they can do and whom they can approach for help. And one is still discussing the first step of addressing suicides and generating awareness for Sikkim here. The equally important phase of helping friends and family of suicide victims deal with the trauma and heal themselves is not even being considered in what little is being done here on the issue of suicides. Although the pain, grief and associated guilt may never go away, if left ignores, they could intensify and put more lives at risk. The chances of suicides, do after all, increase in cases which have a family history or instances of people [friends and acquaintances] having taken this drastic option. It is worrying that a State which has lost as many lives to suicide as Sikkim does not have an effective support group to counsel and help heal friends and family of suicide victims.